THE OSCAR ROBERTSONS: The award for biggest disappointment goes to…L.A. Misérables
They all hate each other. Life sucks. When does this end?
Will Ferrell is currently dressed up as a security guard at tonight’s Laker game.
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James Harden of the Houston Rockets takes picture with fans before a game played against the New York Knicks on December 17, 2012 at Madison Square Garden in New York City.
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Lets jus start off by saying I have been up since 6:30 on one of the beside at weeks I the semester. We left the dorms at 8:15 am. It take 6 hours to get to LA from Sonoma and it is 7:00 pm. So what the fuck have we been doing. Well first Steph goes to see a friend and leaves me in this big ass mall by myself for like an hour. She finally comes back and makes a comment about how I spent too much money on underwear. Which if she looked in my drawers she would see that half of my underwear it worn out with holes in them. But whatever!! Then we have to go to Firestone which is 45 out of our path to LA. We are at Firestone for like 2 hours. We finally get back on the road at like 2:30. After a while she lets me drive. And I was super excited but while I am driving she makes all these smart ass comments. You driving too fast. Your driving too slow! You driving like an idiot. You need to get over! You need to break! As the list goes on and on. Which makes me doubt myself quite a bit Finally to get out if driving without her having an attitude I say I hungry. We get to Carl’s Jr. And she is like get out the drivers seat. I’m ready to go to bed. And I was like was I driving I slow and she was like yeah!!!!! But every time I would go even one point above the speed limit she would tell me to slow down!!! And I was just thinking in my head if we had gotten up and not run all of your errands before leaving the bay we would already be in LA and you would already be complaining to Jerome about how much of a bitch I am while I was sitting in the room pretending not to listen and jus waiting for the moment the trip was over! I really don’t want this trip to be the same as the last one. And I really an trying not to be upset and start acting immature. But there is only so much a smaller black girl can take!!!!
When I am around my family they all say I’m mean I’m evil and my only reason to live is to hate everybody and make them cry. Which is not true and i am tired of hearing that bullshit because first if all it isn’t true and second it fucking hurts my feelings and pisses me off. But that is a post for another time but probably coming soon because in 2 weeks I will be with Jerome and Steph. Anyway at school I am whole different person. I am not rude or mean in fact I am a great friend. I stay listening to my friends shit and putting what they need over what I need or my feelings. A friendship is supposed to be a give and take relationship. But I have this one friend who is constantly taking and never giving. There has been a lot of shit that has been bothering me about her lately and today I had my limit!! She drags me to six flags for a sisterhood. I didn’t plan on going because I want to sleep and do homework because I don’t have a lot of time for that during the week. And this is something she knows. So I go and when we get there she is like I hate rides. I’m not getting on rides. So all fucking day long we do all the things that she wants and not one fucking thing that I want. I give up alot for this girl. I am constantly doing shit for her and she does absolutely nothing for me. When the fuck m I gonna get my 100%? If nothing changes I don’t now much longer we are going to he friends.
I know that this seems really crazy and this is topic that keeps coming up but to be honest 6 years just don’t vanish. The memories don’t go away and no matter how hard I try neither the feelings. Micah is someone that has been apart of my life for a while. He was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Weed. And he is one of the only people I felt I could be myself around right away. He didnt care that I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with 4 other people. He didnt care that I lived with a single. He didnt care that I didn’t own a pair of vans or that I didn’t get along with my mom or that I had a track phone. I don’t know what it is about this boy but he is special. And he doesn’t see it. He doesn’t think so. But as someone who had been in a lot of fucked up situations that I had no control of I understand that has he has also been in alot of situations he can’t control. We have alot of similarities. The one difference between me and him is. He doesn’t have older siblings he can trust to drive 12 hours and come pick him up when he threatens to run away from home. He doesn’t have younger siblings he can gripe with about his mom. He has no support system. No one that see what he is going through or that is ever on his side. He has no one that believes in him, no one that thinks he can do anything good.But me I have seen the good. I know he can do anything he puts his mind to.
Not one of my friends supported my relationship with him. They say you can do better. He is just a screw up or he is a jerk. People are constantly giving me shit about him. They have never asked what I see in him or how he makes me feel. Unlike my own friends and family including my mother he has never come to my house high, he is always respectful he has not talked bad about any of my family members including Osa even though she hates him. And none of that should matter. The only thing that should have mattered is that he made me happy. And I’m sad all the time. I know that I am young but I am also heartbroken and I don’t want to be in pain anymore.
Just going to leave this here.